Many times Christian folks enter into a relationship
without truly knowing what a godly relationship should look like. SO we just go
with the flow and see what happens. On top of that we watch worldly shows such
as Love and Hip Hop, Empire, House Wives of Atlanta etc and they plant seeds in
our hearts and mind about relationships. We have to be real careful about what
we read, watch, and listen too. If brothers and sisters in Christ are not
careful we will have a whole bunch of standards for our relationships based on
the world standards and not God’s standards.
I was chatting with a brother in Christ about what a
godly relationship should look like. We both agreed that brothers and sisters
in Christ are not entering into godly relationships because of lack of knowledge about what a godly relationship is, lack of patience, premature intimacy, and
simply wanting to enjoy the moment. The problem with wanting to enjoy the
moment and the other things listed is that it is careless, reckless and someone
ALWAYS gets hurt in the process, it never fails!
As we continued to talk my brother in Christ said,
“Sis I have these 5 steps that I came up with when truly wanting to be in God’s
will when it comes to being in a relationship.” I was thinking he had some weak
list of steps that was not going to have any substance too it, but, I still
wanted to read the 5 steps. I told him to send it to me and this is what he
sent me:
"5 step process (checklist) when
one truly wanting to be In Gods will with a helpmate should follow...ready lol
you got yo pen and paper handy
1) Association (how did yall meet,
what was the encounter, situation, environment, those things must be
considered) and this is more in a spiritual manner not worldly
2) Friendship (are you establishing a
friendship with Christ at the wheel being the center, He is the chief
cornerstone that holds everything in life 2gthr...HALLELUJAH) Christ must be
the complete reason why you are friends Christ and His word must be the only
factor of getting to know...getting to know Christ together as friends is far
more needed and important than getting to know each other, b/c if your
spiritually unbalanced as friends and/or unequally yoked as friends how can you
even dare think about being in a relationship
3) Courtship (this is where the male
after truly grinding and pursuing Christ 2gthr as friends goes before The Lord
inquires of Him by praying and supplicating 1st asking God, "Lord if this
is Your will, I humbly ask may I pursue Your daughter as a helpmate, give me
wisdom and discernment to have discretion *making a Godly decision*, never my
will but Your will" and with a sincere heart and absolute faith God will
lead and guide the mans steps and answer Him...Praise God this is good stuff to
my ears, glory to God
4) Engagement (this is where it has
become super serious, God has bestowed favor upon the man and He has found His
good thing, Christ being the focal obedience being enforced, and increasing in
God 2gthr has become apparent and The Lords will has become made manifest)
Lastly 5) Marriage....(becoming one
heir one flesh un-defiling the bed...this is Gods best at hand the ultimate
perfect will of union ship between His creation) class dismissed for today
lol"
After I was done reading all the steps, I was shocked at
how much SUBSTANCE it held. I remember being in the car with my momma and
reading all the steps to her. My momma has a lot of wisdom when it comes to
godly relationships and I value her opinion a lot. I wanted her thoughts on the
5 steps. My mom said, “I wouldn’t add or take away anything from that list. I
give it an A+!” I told my brother in Christ that the list really blessed me and
put many things into perspective for me. This was almost 2 years ago. I have
been holding on to this list and keeping it all to myself and recently the Lord
put it on my heart to share the list. The Lord reminded me of how I am always
PRAYING for brothers and sisters in Christ to have God honoring relationships
and one day marriages, however, how can one do better when they do not know
better?
I hope this list blesses you like it blessed me. Our
relationships should NOT look like the worlds! We are SALT and LIGHT and should
be setting an example for others in our relationships. What does your
relationship look like with your girlfriend and/or boyfriend? Never be afraid
to REEVALUATE your relationship and intentionally go before the Lord in prayer
in order to work on things. What you practice now is what you will practice in
a MARRIAGE!
