By Wendiss Star
Many of us believe that if we have not done something for a long period of time our behavior has changed. We believe that if we have stopped drinking, smoking etc for a long period of time we are “good” and do not have to worry about falling back into our old bad habits. However, CHANGED BEHAVIOR is not based on how LONG you have NOT done something. I have heard people say I haven’t done such and such in years and then months later they ended up doing such and such again, after years of NOT doing it. The problem with many of us today is we have not truly changed our bad behaviors we have just been hibernating. Consequently, a lot of folks become prideful and begin to think they are untouchable because they have stopped doing something for a period of time. Sadly, many Christians are walking around with a false sense of victory because they have not done something in a long time and they have allowed time to be an indictor of changed behavior instead of God’s Holy Spirit. It is true that our behavior can change temporarily and in that time we might not do certain things, but eventually we will end up back where we started. The reason most of us end up back where we started is because we think we are “good” because we have not done something in a long time and we stop GUARDING against the very things that caused us to fall. Changed behavior starts on the INSIDE and is based on a CHANGE IN YOUR ATTITUDE, HEART, & MIND. Allow me to share with you how I was celibate for two years and had mistaken the length of my celibacy for true changed behavior and right standing with God.
“For those who think PURITY is simply about not having
SEX for a long time... have a lot to learn about purity. Purity is not just the
absence of sex during your single years...its the presence of RIGHT thinking,
HEALTHY feelings and RIGHT actions. Purity is physical but its also mental,
emotional and spiritual. However, when I was 19 years old I did not understand
that. I simply thought that if I did not have sex for along time that I was
doing good and that is what the Lord wanted. My purity story is not over, it is
still being written but I would like to share a chapter of it with you...
In my first couple of years in
college I found myself in compromising situations. It all started with being
"lonely" and wanting attention from men. I would allow the guy I was
talking to, to visit me late at night. The late night visits led to premature
intimacy. I was very lustful and the one thing I did not understand about lust
is that it is NEVER satisfied. Lust is a beast and if you don’t kill it, it
will kill you! So anyway back to the story...
So one day I decided I
wanted to do things God’s way and wait till marriage to have sex with one man.
So I stopped having sex. I thought I was the definition of purity because I
wasn’t having sex. Before I knew it, it had been two years that I hadn’t had
sex. I remember how I use to tell other brothers and sisters in Christ HOW LONG
I HAD NOT HAD SEX and I would feel very proud. I begin to let my guard down and
lie to myself. I was basing purity on how long I had not had sex. To make a long story short, I ended up having sex again after two years of being celibate.”
OKAY, so what is the moral of me sharing apart
of my story? I do not want other brothers and sisters in Christ to walk around
with a false sense of victory or feel proud just because they have not been
doing something for a long period of time. Moreover, I do not want us to
deceive ourselves into thinking we are “good” and become lazy and let down our
guard. The Lord showed me that it does not matter HOW LONG YOU HAVE NOT DONE
SOMETHING. The TRUTH is if we are not allowing The Lord to CHANGE us from the
INSIDE, we have not truly been changed. The Lord had to help me see that he was more concerned with
my HEART being changed and not the amount of time I had stop having sex because
that meant nothing without my attitude, heart and mind being changed. TRUE changed
behavior is impossible without a change occurring on the inside of your heart. Have
you TRULY changed or have you just been in hibernation ?
