Sex, Sex, SEX

By Wendiss Star

             What did you learn growing up about sex? Did you learn that sex was bad and that you should stay away from sex? Did your parents teach you about sex? Did your church tell you about sex? Did TV teach you about sex? When it comes to the topic of sex it is important to understand where you FIRST LEARNED about sex and who presented what to you and how they presented it. Many people growing up either learned about sex from their friends, TV, or church. Not many people I have talk to ever said their parents taught them about sex. Most people who stories I have heard goes a little something like this, “I was told not to have sex till marriage and that if I did I am going to hell.” Now the problem with this message is that no one is explaining to the boy or girl WHY he or she should wait to have sex and the IMPORTANCE of waiting. Instead we tell our children JUST DON’T HAVE SEX without any explanation and we foolishly expect them to wait. Consequently, people do not wait and often times they end up with this notion of sex that is negative and think sex is this bad, bad thing.

Sex has NEVER been a bad thing. The TRUTH about sex is it is GOOD, it is BEAUTIFUL and it is a GIFT from God.

Before we can go any further we have to get two things straight.

1. What is sex ?

Sex is a Blessing

Sex is an enjoyable Gift from God

Sex is a covenant

Sex is a soul tie

2. Who did God create sex for?

But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. ³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:2-4

Ok now that we understand that sex is NOT bad and that God created sex for man and woman to enjoy in MARRIAGE we can proceed. 

          “Some people have the mistaken notion that God is ANTI-SEX. In fact, He’s outspokenly PRO-SEX. He invented it. What an incredible thought! PASSIONATE sex was God’s Idea. He isn’t embarrassed by it. Song of Songs is an entire book in the Bible dedicated to CELEBRATING pure sex in marriage” (Joshua Harris). Joshua Harris is one of my favorite authors and in his book Sex is Not the Problem, Lust is he paints a picture of sex being this wonderful thing given to us by God. Sadly, many people think God is trying to STOP them from having a good time. When in reality God is trying to PROTECT people from the emotional, physical and spiritual side effects that come with sex when we CHOOSE to have it outside of marriage. The problem is that as humans we think we know better than God and we make up in our mind how things should go. We say waiting till marriage is too hard or we say I don’t see the value or point in waiting till marriage so I am just going to do me. Then there’s the group of people who reject God all together and live by their own set of morals and standards. Then my favorite group is the folks who claim they cant wait till marriage because they got “NEEDS.” Whelp the truth is whatever group we fall into one thing that is not going to change is God’s STANDARD for sex and its our choice to accept it or reject it.

             I believe it is important to understand that if you have choose to WAIT till marriage that is a beautiful thing. However, it is important to understand that just because you have decided to wait does not mean your urges wait. Sexual urges do not disappear just because you decide to wait till marriage to have sex, trust me I know. However, if not dealt with properly our urges control us.

I want to make one thing clear really quick. Sexual urges are not bad and we should not be ashamed. When those urges come we should thank The Lord and then ask him to help us deal with the urges in a way that is pleasing to him. In the words of my sister in Christ Jackie Hill Perry, “ I know you wanna do it, I know you wanna have ACTIVE WORSHIP .” This video she made relates to a lot of us “I know Im a Christian but I wanna “do it”

             Finally, for all those people who got “NEEDS” who do you think gave you your SEXUAL APPETITE? God is the one who gives us a sexual appetite. This might sound real crazy but God wants you to have sex and lots of it. He just put one condition on it, which is marriage. Maybe we don’t understand why The Lord said wait till marriage. But one thing I have learned is that when The Lord tells us NOT to do something it is for a good reason and we have to TRUST him. It is kind of like when we are kids and an adult tells us not to touch the stove. We are kids so we don’t understand why we shouldn’t do it but we have to trust them and not touch the stove. Nevertheless, there is always that one kid who just have to touch the stove and end up burned. God does not want us to end up burned but the truth is some of us will get burned. The question is how many times do you have to be burned to learn the lesson? The answer to this question is different for each of us. The only thing that is the same for ALL of us is God’s grace and mercy and forgiveness. IF YOU ARE ABOUT THIS LIFE AND WANT TO HONOR THE LORD THEN PRAY and ask the Lord to strengthen you to avoid sexual temptations. Also do not forget you are not fighting lust alone, The Holy Spirit is our HELPER.

"Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive.

1 Corinthians 10:23